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It’s rare that I get too personal here on the blog. I often tap in just enough so you all can get a glimpse of who I am but the introvert in me keeps it to a minimum. I’m perfectly comfortable with that to be honest, but I also realize that I can’t very well live by the mantra, “your circumstance is not your story,” if I don’t share my own. Learning to see life as it can be and not as it is, is not always an easy feat. But I’ve got a few tips that I hope can help get you through your dark times just as I was able to. TheHautemommie - Style, Motherhood, and Life, done chic.

By now if you’ve been here more than once or have subscribed (get on that!) you know that I became a mother at 23. Senior year of college, 21 credits shy of graduating I had to return home. What some people may assume is that I left because of my pregnancy but the real reason was financial. For years I grew up underneath the thumb of poverty and for that same amount of time I hoped, wished, and prayed to get out. What I realized as I got older was that I could either accept what I was being given by life or take something else.

TheHautemommie - Style, Motherhood, and Life, done chic. TheHautemommie - Style, Motherhood, and Life, done chic.TheHautemommie - Style, Motherhood, and Life, done chic.

I never believed that I would always have to live struggling, it just didn’t exist in my mainframe. I also knew that I had to take some steps to get where I longed to be. Here are three tips I want to give you for getting out of your rut. The first is this.

Change Your Mind.

Changing your mind and how you view the world can greatly affect how the world reacts to you. If you’re constantly worried or living in fear of not having something, then that is exactly what you’re going to get. Fear and nothing. What you can do is shift your paradigm. Rather than seeing and assessing all the issues surrounding you, decide what you would like life to look like. Visualize the changes you want to happen, speak them aloud, and write them down. Your thoughts dictate your actions. By changing your thoughts on a situation you are making way for it to be different. Get out of your own way and stop letting your thoughts rule your world.

TheHautemommie - Style, Motherhood, and Life, done chic.

Make A Move.

Far too often people will say, “nothing is working. Nothing is changing,” while they continue to make the same moves over and over. Newsflash kid, if what you’re doing isn’t working – do something different. But by all means don’t stay still. Waiting for the change to happen can be frustrating, especially when you feel like you’ve done all you can. I remember when I was anxiously searching for a job and without fail I never got one of them. Nearly 200 applications later, a dear friend of mine gave me an opportunity that would change my life forever. When she first offered me the chance I quickly shut it down. Then after prayer and discussion time with my mom, I realized what did I have to lose? Move past your fear of doing a different thing, it could be the road leading to where you need to be.

TheHautemommie - Style, Motherhood, and Life, done chic. TheHautemommie - Style, Motherhood, and Life, done chic.

Know That Bad Won’t Last Forever.

I know, sh*t sucks. I’ve been there. I’ve been to the point where getting out of bed seemed like a task and smiles felt heavy on my face. What I also know is that there is no way bad can stay around if you’re not giving it a place to live. Years ago when I was out of work, fresh out of money, and had fumes of gas in my tank, I challenged myself to find ways to stay busy and not wallow. From that came my first novel, the idea for my t-shirt company, and web-series that led to a television show. I forced myself, even while angry and sometimes in tears, to get up and work. Since I didn’t have the constraint of a boss or a time clock I figured what better time to work for me than NOW? Work is exactly what I did. Did I get paid? Nope. But it didn’t matter because rather than focus on what I didn’t have, the challenge forced me to have something to look forward to daily aside from sadness. Change does come.

TheHautemommie - Style, Motherhood, and Life, done chic. TheHautemommie - Style, Motherhood, and Life, done chic.

Wearing: Pants – Zara // T-shirt – c/o Dude Be Nice // Bag – Zara // Sunnies – c/o Sunglass Warehouse // Mules – Steve Madden // watch – c/o RumbaTime
pc: RSee Photography

I hope that these three tips can help you as you try and navigate through your storm. Remember though it may look bad now, there is always a time when the clouds clear and the sun shines again. Stay encouraged.


Comments +

  1. Shainna says:

    Thank you so much for this post!

  2. Love this! So encouraging and definitely what I needed right now- things will work out as long as we learn to hand it over to God! And LOVE this outfit!

  3. Myisha says:

    These are great tips. Thank you for sharing!

  4. Let me start by saying Zara for the win! The floral pants, the basket weave bag – so clever and cute. These tips are great. Negative thoughts can get the best of us at times so it’s important to be reminded to “snap out of it”. I knew nothing about your past and the story of how you became a first time mom. Thank you for sharing and congratulations on having such a beautiful family and an inspiring career ❤️❤️

    • Thank you Shannae! 1st, yes Zara always holds me down. Secondly it is so easy to let the bad overpower the good that lies beneath. I’m glad I can be transparent enough so others may be able to see we can all do it!


  5. Star Lengas says:

    Getting out of your own way has been my biggest hurdle yet! So often we talk ourselves out of things when in actuality, it could be a hop & a skip for us to achieve it! smh Really enjoyed this post

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