When the decade came to an end on December 31st, I think we we’re all thinking about what the past ten years looked like for us. Personally so many things have happened in my life I’m actually astounded. I got married, had two more kids, made three seasons of television, was published, and so many more awesome achievements. Thinking about them leaves me in a state of gratitude that I want to take with me into 2020. I want to give some insight on how I’m going to ensure that my next decade is even better, because we only want growth around here am I right? Which means some things have to stay behind. Jump into this post to see the things I’m leaving 2019!
In that spirit of being better there are a few things that I’m leaving in 2019. Because 2020 is the year of hindsight, seeing what was and what is or isn’t working anymore. It’s about the vision being plain and making things come to pass. As I reflected over last year something my dear friend Issa Rae once said came to mind, “being broke forces you to be creative.” That is so true. Now I’m not saying I want to go back to the days of hoping my car could make it on thoughts and prayers but the sentiment still rings true. I had a lack of creativity in 2019 and what I recognize now is that it was a lack of focus. Much of 2019 for me was spent answering the question that plagued my mind and plenty of folks who know me – what’s next? I wish I could have had a definitive answer but alas, I didn’t.
That leads me to one of the first things I want to leave in 2019, that is lack of focus.
For years everything I did was in pursuit of getting out of my impoverished situation. Each day I was arising with the goal of not being where I was the day before. By no means do I feel like I have made it, but I do recognize I am nowhere near where I was years ago. That comeuppance has also brought with it a bit of chill. Not exactly complacency, because I am not close to where I would be satisfied, but I had relaxed some. And if I’m being honest it didn’t feel good to me. I’m certain from the outside looking in I was working constantly and in some ways that was true. I worked on stuff sure. But not with the urgency I had grown accustomed to and that took a toll on me. Working brings me solace. While I’m working on knowing my worth isn’t my job, I do understand that making things and creating is joyful for me.
In an effort to get back to that joy and reigniting the spark of creativity in my life I have selected my word for the year which is focus. If you’re an active reader here, you know that choosing a word is how I work to frame my year. The word is a guide for me a lighthouse if you will. When I feel like things are getting off track I can look back to this word and see if what I’m doing is in alignment. Last year’s word, peace, was necessary and truthfully I felt it. In that peace seeking however I kind of relaxed a lot. As I think about it that could have been my body telling me it’s what I needed. But what I know now is that even in the pursuit of peace – laziness is not a required partner.
That said, mindlessness is something I’m also leaving back in 2019.
No more do I want to be wrapped up in mindless things. This is not a denouncement of vegging out on tv in the evenings or step away from social media. But it does mean that I am going to work on spending less time scrolling and more time doing. An avid user of written planners I’m one who does well with lists and being able to check things off. I’m going to jump head first into planning my days and weeks in order to squash out the empty moments that were being used doing nothing.
One of the ways I’m going to work on this is by using a 12 week goal setting plan. In one of my many scrolling sessions on Twitter a friend of mine mentioned this method. She noted the name of a book that started her down this thought path, and though I haven’t read the book, the concept sounded good to me. Essentially it says that we make yearly goals which presumedly trick our minds into thinking we have all year to complete a goal. If we instead utilized the 12 week year method we would get goals completed in three months time as opposed to 12. Makes sense to me!
Finally I want to truly leave fear behind in 2019. I found myself afraid to take a few leaps last year. I’m really focused on making this influencer life something that can sustain my family and I. Working to generate more income and a greater platform is top of mind for me. Which means I have to overcome the fear I have of pitching myself to companies, approaching others who I have seen do things I want to, and put myself out there. One of the lessons I learned in 2019 was not to be afraid to ask again. For years I thrived on the idea that a no couldn’t stop me. And I still believe that. But I did allow some of the no’s I heard to slow my momentum. That doesn’t work for me. So it’s back to shooting my shot all 2020. All decade. And all the days of my life from here on out.
This year some of my goals include working with more brands, garnering more public speaking opportunities, completing my teen drama script, and getting into voice work. Obviously that includes continuing to grow The Hautemommie, seeing where Butter + BROWN grows to, deciding whether or not to continue my clothing brand. I am so grateful for where the decade brought me to and from. Now it is time to only keep growing from here.
What are you bringing into 2020 and more importantly, what are you leaving behind? Let’s chat!